Resilience is defined as the ability to adapt to difficult situations, the ability to bounce back. There is a growing concern about the lack of resiliency in children, teens, and young adults. When something goes wrong, there are a few common reactions- they “freak out” as one little girl I know would say, they freeze up, or they give up. The good news it that resiliency can be learned.
One aspect of resilience is social connection. A strong support system including family and friends is very important. People need love and support during difficult times. Role models of resilient people help model the desired behavior. They prove that it is possible to survive challenges and even use them as an opportunity to learn and grow. Learning how to make friends also helps build resiliency. Learning skill like empathy is also very beneficial. One way to do this is to help others. Volunteer or do a good deed. Learning about others who have shown their resiliency is also helpful. Check out Google, Facebook and Pinterest.
Optimism is another great skill that helps to build resilience. Try looking at a situation as a learning experience. What can I learn from this? Is there another way to look at this? One way to be more optimistic that also builds resilience is at the end of every day write down in a journal all the positive things that happened that day. Especially the times when you bounced back from something negative. Write what happened and how you overcame it. Reading through all the positive and resilient moments in your life reaffirm that you are resilient, you have survived times that you thought you wouldn’t and that you are awesome!
A few of my favorite quotes that help me persevere through hard times are…
“If “Plan A” Didn’t Work. The alphabet has 25 more letters! Stay Cool!” – unknown
“When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on”-FB/JOY OF DAD
“You have to have bad days to appreciate the good ones.” – unknown
-Robin Sonntag, ADHD Coach
Why do you need an ADHD coach? Why can’t you just read about ADHD parenting resources? I get this question quite often. I liken it to driver’s ed. Think back to when you learned to drive. Who had the better experiences, the kid’s whose parents taught them or the ones who took driver’s ed? I remember a lot more stories of trauma and drama from the kids whose parents taught them then from the kids who took driver’s ed. Putting a child in a neutral, professional environment gives them the opportunity to learn. There is no history, no memories of bad experiences, no concern over what happens after the lesson. It’s a time when the child and coach can focus on the task at hand, learn a new skill or strategy, and then let go. The pressure of the lesson is over and the child can take a step back and relax. It’s ok to have someone else work with your child on the hard stuff so that you and your child can have more positive experiences together instead of negative ones.
-Robin Sonntag, ADHD Coach
As an ADHD Coach for children, adolescents, families and parents I help build compensatory strategies and executive functioning skills. People often ask what the difference is between coaching and therapy. Therapy deals with the past and the whys. Coaching works on the present, the future, the whats and the hows. ADHD Coaches help build strategies and routines so that children and their families can better manage their ADHD symptoms. It’s my goal to help children thrive and not just survive!